The long and pointless story
by Cotume of Doriath
Summary: A slumber party gone horribly awry. Rated PG just to be sure.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own pokemon. Don't sue me or anything nasty like that, 'K? NOTE: Anyone who likes Giovanni, Gary, or Jezibell might not want to read this.  
  
THE LONG AND POINTLESS STORY  
  
Characters:  
  
Crystal: One of my alter egos  
  
Ash: duh  
  
Misty: duh  
  
Brock: duh  
  
Pikachu: duh  
  
Jessie: duh  
  
James: duh  
  
Meowth: duh  
  
Gary: duh  
  
Mewtwo: duh  
  
Botch: duh  
  
Cassidy: duh  
  
Jezibell: *shudder*  
  
Hiro: Some guy from a fic at PGamers (too bad they closed the site down)  
  
Giovanni: Viridian Gym Leader & The Boss  
  
Jasmine: Olivine Gym Leader  
  
Erika: Celedon Gym Leader  
  
Morty: Ecruteak Gym Leader  
  
Sabrina: Safffron Gym Leader  
  
Author: Another of my alter egos  
  
Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu, and Crystal are sitting on the porch at Crystal's house  
  
Crystal: So, what should I do to celebrate my birthday?  
  
Ash: We can go out to dinner, just you and me, and then spend the next hour kissing!  
  
Crystal: *gags* Yuck! You are too young for me.  
  
Ash: WAAHHHH!! She thinks I'm too young!  
  
Misty: Ash, grow up before I have to drag you away by the ear like Brock.  
  
Brock: I resent that comment!  
  
All argue  
  
Crystal: Quiet! Shut up! STOP!  
  
No one listens  
  
Crystal: Grr.. Alakazam, Disable!  
  
Misty: *straining* I....can't...move!  
  
Ash: Me...either!  
  
Brock: *whimpers*  
  
Crystal: *through clenched teeth* Right. Everyone listen up. I have decided to have a slumber party. It will be a magical evening. Right?  
  
All agree loudly  
  
Crystal: Ok then. Alakazam, release them.  
  
Ash, Misty, and Brock collapse with relief  
  
Crystal: Ok, let's make a list. Us four, Erika, Gary, Hiro, Sabrina, Mewtwo, and should we invite Team Rocket?  
  
Ash: Jessie, James, and Meowth or Butch and Cassidy?  
  
Crystal: Botch and Cassidy.  
  
Ash: Excuse me. Botch and Cassidy.  
  
Crystal: Why not both?  
  
Misty whispers in her ear  
  
Crystal: Ewww... So not Botch and Cassidy. Giovanni?  
  
Brock: Do you have a crush on him?  
  
Crystal: *acting shocked* Why, Brock! Are you jelous?  
  
Brock: *starts spluttering* Wh- what? N-n-never!  
  
Misty: *teasing* I knew it! You like her, don't you?  
  
Brock: *bursts into tears and runs into the bathroom*  
  
Crystal: O.o  
  
~*~ At the party ~*~  
  
The people who were invited are: Jessie, James, Meowth, Gary, Hiro, Erika, Sabrina, Mewtwo, Giovanni, Jasmine, Morty, Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu.  
  
Jasmine:Hi, everyone! Sorry I'm late.  
  
Hiro: It's okay. Gary, Mewtwo, and Giovanni haven't even gotten here yet.  
  
Crystal: *comes in staggering under a heavy tray of food* Uhhh....any help here?  
  
All the guys jump to their feet  
  
Brock: I'll get it!  
  
James: No, I will!  
  
They start to fight  
  
Hiro:*steps past them both and carries the tray to the table* Here you go, Crystal.  
  
Crystal: *smiles* Thank you, Hiro.  
  
James & Brock: Hey! I was going to get that!  
  
Just as they are about to beat up Hiro, Giovanni and Mewtwo enter  
  
Mewtwo: My apologies. Giovanni couldn't find his shoes.  
  
Giovanni: It wasn't my fault! If you hadn't hidden them, I wouldn't have made us late!  
  
Mewtwo: Hidden? You mean I put them in the closet where they belong. You are an awful slob.  
  
Giovanni: WHAT?? Why you little- Oooh! Girls! *hurries over to Erika, Sabrina, and Misty*  
  
Mewtwo: *sweatdrops* Uhhh....  
  
Meowth: Come on over, Mewtwo! We want to ask you something!  
  
Jessie: Yeah. Why do you put up with that guy?  
  
Mewtwo: Hehehe... It's a long story...  
  
Meanwhile..  
  
Erika: Get away from me, wierdo!  
  
Giovanni: But I love you!  
  
Erika: I don't care! Go away!  
  
Giovanni: But all four of us are Gym Leaders! We have to stick together! And by that, I mean you should all go out with me! I'll pick you all up at 8!  
  
Misty: *pulls out a giant paper fan and whacks Giovanni*  
  
Sabrina: Hey! What a great idea! Let's all whack Giovanni!  
  
All three pull out paper fans and slap Giovanni silly  
  
Meanwhile..  
  
Jessie, James, & Meowth: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Mewtwo: It's not that gross.  
  
J, J & M: Yes, it is!  
  
Mewtwo: Okay, maybe it is pretty disgusting, not to mention pathetic and juvinile....  
  
Morty: What?  
  
Mewtwo: Giovanni sleeps in diapers.  
  
Morty: AAAAHHHHH!!!! *faints*  
  
Mewtwo: Why does everyone do that?  
  
Morty: *sits up* I dunno. To get laughs?  
  
Misty: Ha ha ha thud. *walks over dragging Giovanni*  
  
Giovanni: What does that mean?  
  
Misty: What? You're awake? *whacks him with the paper fan some more*  
  
Giovanni: Ow! What-ow!-was-ow!-that-ow!-for? OW!  
  
Erika: *sigh* What is he still doing here? Go, Gloom!  
  
Giovanni: NNOOOOO!!!!! Not the GLOOM! *runs holding his nose*  
  
Crystal: Popcorn anyone?  
  
Stampede to the table  
  
Crystal: *grabs the popcorn* Hey! Pick a movie first!  
  
They shove some horror movie into the DVD player and grab the popcorn bowl  
  
James: There, happy?  
  
Crystal: Humph. Fine.  
  
Screams from the TV  
  
Crystal: AHHH!!! What was that?  
  
Gary enters  
  
All: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! *all faint*  
  
Gary: What?  
  
Crystal: Gary! You know better than to burst in on a bunch of people during a scary movie!  
  
Brock: Yeah. Especally on a stormy night!  
  
Crystal: Stormy night? I checked the weather, it's not stormy tonight!  
  
Thunder crashes  
  
Crystal: AAAHHHH!!!!  
  
Power goes out  
  
Sabrina: Who touched me? I swear, whoever touched me is in for the biggest psychic blast in their life!  
  
Crystal lights a candle  
  
Crystal: What's up with the storm?  
  
Mewtwo: It's the author.  
  
All: What?  
  
Mewtwo: The author. She made the storm.  
  
Hiro: Why?  
  
Author: For fun mostly.  
  
All: AAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Jessie: Why do we keep screaming?  
  
Author: 'Cause I think it's funny.  
  
Meowth: What are you doing in the story? You're supposed to be writing!  
  
Author: Who cares? I can make you jump off a cliff you know.  
  
Jezibell enters  
  
Jezibell: What cliff?  
  
Author: I can provide for that too. Now get out of my story.  
  
Jezibell: Humph!  
  
She leaves  
  
Crystal: Now, why the storm?  
  
No response  
  
Crystal: Author? Author? Are you there?  
  
Jasmine: Yay! She's gone!  
  
Crystal pulls out flashlights and candles  
  
Crystal: There. Everyone comfortable?  
  
All agree  
  
Everyone settles down to sleep  
  
Gary: Do the guys and girls get to sleep on the same side of the room? *looks around hopfully*  
  
Everyone pulls out paper fans and looks at Gary menacingly  
  
Gary: eep.  
  
Gary gets beat up and locked in the bathroom  
  
Gary: Ooooo! Quilted toiletpaper!  
  
Crystal: *dusting off hands* OK. Back to bed.  
  
As soon as they doze off, the lights come on  
  
Pikachu: Pika Pika, Chu Pika!  
  
Misty: What?  
  
Mewtwo: You don't want to know.  
  
All: Yes, we do!!!  
  
Mewtwo: He said "****".  
  
Ash: Pikachu! I didn't know you knew that kind of language! ..... Teach me!  
  
Misty whacks him with a mallet  
  
Ash: *holding his head* Owww! What happened to the paper fan?  
  
Misty: I got bored with it.  
  
Jessie whacks James  
  
James: OW! What did you do that for??  
  
Jessie: I haven't hit you all evening. This story wouldn't be complete without it.  
  
Jezibell enters  
  
Jezibell: James, dahlin'! We nevah finished our runnin' lessn'!  
  
At this point, the author broke off writing and had a violent fit of shuddering at her horrible way of speach.  
  
James: O.o AHHHHH!!! Get her away!!!  
  
A mad ax murderer enters  
  
Ax Murderer: HA HA HA!!! Chop!!  
  
He drags Jezibell off  
  
Jezibell: Help, James!!  
  
James: Bye!  
  
Crystal is looking sick  
  
Crystal: Hey, Author! What did you do that for??  
  
Author: Awww! But I hate Jezibell! Can't she die?  
  
James: Yeah, can't she die?  
  
Jessie: *pulls out paper fan*  
  
Author: Oh, fine. He'll just hang her by her toes from the roof.  
  
Jezibell screams from outside  
  
Jezibell: I'm wearin' a dress!  
  
Author: I hope you're wearing clean underwear then.  
  
Hiro: That was mean.  
  
Author: You want pig ears?  
  
Hiro: No.  
  
Author: Then be quiet. As I was saying, what's so bad about Jezibell dying?  
  
Crystal: It's cruel to kill people just because you don't like them.  
  
Author: Yeesh. Next thing you know, they'll be saying it's cruel to stick pins in people to make them jump!  
  
Sabrina whispers in her ear  
  
Author: Awww... I better get out of here before someone sues!  
  
She disappears  
  
Crystal: Our lives are being manipulated by a homicidal psycho. *sarcasticaly* This is the best birthday ever!  
  
Giovanni: It is for me! Now how about you make it even better? Will you go out with me?  
  
Crystal: I've been looking for an exuse to try out that giant paper fan that Misty gave me. Don't push it.  
  
Hiro: Let's just go back to sleep.  
  
Crystal turns off the lights  
  
Gary: *snores* Mummy, I don't like lima beans! What are you doing with the cleaver, Mummy? Mummy, NOOOO!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! *sits up*  
  
All: O.o  
  
Brock: And I thought I was messed up!  
  
Sabrina: *looking in Gary's mind* Ewww! There's a lot of nasty stuff in that brain of his!!  
  
Gary: Get out of my head!!!  
  
Sabrina: Just a minute... What's this? ... It's.... AHHHHH!!!!! *faints* Mewtwo: Wow. What could be that bad? *looks* Oh.  
  
All clamor to know what it is  
  
Mewtwo: I am not telling. You are all too young.  
  
Giovanni: Even me?  
  
Mewtwo: Yes, even you.  
  
Giovanni: Then, technicaly, wouldn't you be too young?  
  
Mewtwo: Yes. Yes, I would.  
  
Sabrina wakes up  
  
Sabrina: Who am I? Where am I? *looks at her own mind* Oh yeah....  
  
All start asking her what it was  
  
Sabrina: *tells them telepathicaly*  
  
All: AHHHHHHH!!!!! *all faint*  
  
Mewtwo: I knew they were too young.  
  
Both faint at the memory  
  
Author: Tsk, tsk. We can't have everyone fainted at the same time! People will stop reading! *tries to wake them up* Grr.... A herd of rampaging Tauros couldn't wake them up! Wait! That's it!  
  
A herd of rampaging Tauros runs through  
  
Author: Ack! They're still asleep! *sighs* I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. *writes "and they all wake up"  
  
All wake up  
  
Crystal: What is going on?  
  
Author: Hehehe...  
  
Ash: It's the Author!! NOOOO!!! *holds Pikachu in front of himself* Take him!  
  
Pikachu: Pikaaaaa... CHUUUU!!! *shocks Ash*  
  
Author: *collapses on floor giggling uncontrolably* One medium-rare Ash, coming right up!!  
  
Misty: *whispers to Crystal* Yeesh, it's not that funny!  
  
Crystal: *whispers back* I told you! She's a homicidal psycho!  
  
Author: I heard that, you know. Hmm.. What punishment should I give you? I know! Jack-O'-Lantern heads!  
  
Sabrina: Look out! She's got a pen!  
  
All run to tackle Author  
  
Author: How dare you! *disappears in a puff of smoke*  
  
By this time everyone reading this is saying: "OK. Now this is just wierd"  
  
Crystal: No more crazyness! Just let us sleep, OK Author?  
  
No answer  
  
Crystal: Thank you.  
  
James: *gasp* I forgot my teddy bear!  
  
Jessie: You don't have a teddy bear.  
  
James: Yes, I do!  
  
Jessie: No, you don't!  
  
James: Yes, I-  
  
Crystal: JUST GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!  
  
Gary: I get the feeling you're upset about something.  
  
Crystal: *twitch twitch*  
  
Mewtwo: *cuts in quickly* Well, now that we've cleared that up, can we go to sleep?  
  
Crystal: YES!!! That's what I have been trying to do for the past hour!  
  
Morty: Actually, it's been an hour and fifteen minutes.  
  
Crystal: ......  
  
Morty: Ah. Yes. OK. *backs away nervously*  
  
All get into sleeping bags  
  
Jezibell: Umm.... It's a little cold out here!  
  
Crystal: Too bad. I'm sleeping.  
  
All try to sleep, but Jezibell keeps whimpering  
  
Crystal: AARRRGHHH!!! Someone make her shut up!!!  
  
James: Gladly. *picks up a baseball bat*  
  
Jasmine: You're not going to let him do that, are you?  
  
Crystal: He can do what he [bleep] well wants.  
  
All gasp  
  
Giovanni: You swore! You're my kind of girl! I know this little bar where-  
  
Crystal: Shut up. Just shut up now.  
  
Giovanni: Awwww....  
  
James: Can I go now?  
  
Crystal: By all means. Please do.  
  
He walks out and thunks are heard  
  
Jezibell: AHHHHH!!!!! OW!!! AHHHH!!!!! OW!! OW!!!! OWWW!!! O-  
  
Silence  
  
Crystal: Now can we go to sleep?  
  
rooster crow  
  
Ash: Wha?? But it's still dark outside!!  
  
Botch and Cassidy: Suprise!!!!!  
  
All: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
This is getting pretty long and stale, so I'll wrap it up.  
  
Everyone beats up Botch and Cassidy and go to sleep. In the morning they wake up and blow up Team Rocket HQ for no reason at all. Jessie, James, and Meowth quit TR and run a resteraunt. Jezibell is forced to marry Giovanni, so she is punished and Giovanni is gotten rid of at the same time. Gary loses the Johto League and becomes a drunk. Evryone else lives happily ever after.  
  
Author: Awww... A happy ending! ------------- Yes, I know. I'm very high on sugar. R&R. No flamey things please. As I said, I'm high on sugar, and flames would mean instant sugar crash, and NONE of us want THAT. 


End file.
